THE PRINCE AND HIS VIP GUEST…

Prince Adejogunoye: [Smiling broadly with outstretched hands] Your Excellency, you are highly welcome. I expected to see you at Mama’s funeral but Yemi told me you had a prior engagement.

General Jubril: [Grinning, accepts the double handshakes] Ah, Your Highness, nor vex o. I needed to go to the General Assembly to plead with our creditors to lend us more money and forgive us our debts.

Prince: [Looking puzzled] Oh, really? You want to borrow more money and at the same time you want your debts forgiven? Anyway, I would have thought the whole General Assembly was even here at Mama’s funeral…

General: Errm, but Putin was not here …

Prince: Putin? You can bet that rascal would neither be here nor there… did you say Putin was at the Assembly when everyone else was here?

General: No, I didn’t mean that but I was saying…

Prince: Don’t worry, I understand. You are always welcome here. I hope you’ll be here when I’m being crowned.

General: Insha Allah, I’ll be here… I’m often here. Sometimes, I come to this your city SIX times a year.

Prince: SIX times a year? Wow…! I’m impressed….I thought it was just once or twice. What brings you here so often?

General: It’s your children o. Your children school here. I come here to see them. Then I come to see my dactars too…you know, and sometimes just to relax.

Prince: That’s so amazing! But my children never told me you come here to see them and by the way they are no longer in school …

General: [Laughs heartily] No, no, no, Your Highness … that’s how we say it in my place. We call my children “your children”.

Prince: Uh -oh, (Smiles)… I see… that’s at once confusing and reassuring. So, by the way, that means you have a house in town?

General: [Laughs heartily again] Not at all, Prince, I don’t have a house here. I only come because of my doctors and your children. Even back at home, I don’t have more than two houses. Not having many houses makes one feel free.

Prince: Amazing! You know, I had never thought of that. My family owns lots of houses and this Palace alone has 600 rooms – we’ve always felt free. I’ve never had the impression that having many houses makes one not so free. Anyway, how’s your health? Are there no doctors in your city?

General: There are many doctors, of course, and thousands of them have even left my city for your city. They are still leaving as we speak. I wonder why they keep coming here….

Prince: You are a very interesting guest, General. I would have thought that even they would be wondering why you keep coming here…

General: I come here to treat my ear infections.

Prince: [whispers] No wonder!

General: Excuse me?

Prince: I was saying, I wonder … that is, I wonder what could be wrong with your ear that the ENTs in your city cannot fix.

General: Don’t mind the ENITITIES in my city… they are fantastically corrupt. I don’t want them to infect my ear with corruption. [Grins from ear to ear].

Prince: Wow! So, you mean the notorious corruption in your city is highly infectious and could be passed through the ear?

General: I tell you! Don’t ever let any of my people whisper in your ears. Once they have your ears, they will corrupt you.

Prince: Your Excellency, you didn’t do well! You could have warned me ahead. Yemi was here and he did whisper in my ears.

General: Oh, Prince, I assure you, you have nothing to worry about Yemi. Yemi may be ambitious and not perfectly loyal but he is not really corrupt.

Prince: I believe you…

General: Yes, you can always believe me. The one you shouldn’t allow to whisper in your ears is Bola.

Prince: Who the blaze is Bola?

General: Hahahaha … you said who the bat is Bola? Bola is Abalala… he is warming up…

Prince: Bola is abracadabra? Is he a magician?

General: No, no, no…. Bola is a politician. I didn’t say he is abracadabra. I said he is Obalola – the King tomorrow.

Prince: Oh, well …I didn’t know your City is now a Monarchy too. You are full of surprises, sir.

General: Even me, I was surprised when he insisted he has the rights of succession and that it’s his turn. Hehehe.

Prince: Anyway, thank you, General, for the heads up. I will never let him whisper in my ears.

General: Yeah, yeah … don’t ever let him whisper. You don’t want to have your ears infected. He is fantastically….

Prince: Corrupt? [Eyes widening…]

General: No, no, no …I can’t say that. I wanted to say he is fantastically loyal. More loyal than Yemi but Yemi is not as rich as he is. Only God knows how he makes his money. He has been donating money here and there, everywhere.

Prince: You’ve been an interesting guest, General, let me not keep you waiting any longer. I know you will be back in town again soon.

General: I am not in a hurry to leave. There’s really nothing I am doing at home…

Prince: Oh really? I thought you are the C-in-C….

General: Yeah, I am the See-in-See but I let them see me only when I feel like being seen.

Prince: I’m particularly impressed by your ENTERTAINING presence, Your Excellency.

General: [Laughs] Yes, people say I am always entertaining. I’ll see you soon. … before the New Year.

Prince: Safe journey, General.

General: Thank you… and you too.

Prince: [Contorts face in amazement and confusion, asking himself, Do I have any traveling schedules that I’m not aware of? ]. Thank you, again, sir.