Fuel Subsidy – So Much of a Chicken Talk

Humans and Chickens

I have enjoyed so much of my peace and quiet . . . no one is forcing me to talk anyway. But I am simply not enjoying all this cackle any longer – and it’s why I will be cackling too. Stupid? Well, not quite. Have you ever wondered why chickens cackle? It’s not about hens and cocks, man  . . . I am talking about you, me, and all our Facebook friends. We actually cackle – like chickens.


You won’t like this; but I will tell you all the same – humans are not so much more intelligent than chickens. I have seen hens and cocks in their different societies – and compared them to us; the conclusion is that we are often chickens too. Wait a minute, have you observed the exotic breeds, you put down some marsh for them, and they gather around it and eat together. You throw a loaf down, they gather around it and peck it together. As for the local, African, chicken? You throw a loaf to them, and just one of them would grab it and burst into a run, looking for a place to eat it alone while others starve. Others would chase it until one of them catches up and tears a big chunk of the loaf from the first chicken, and also start running itself – looking for a place to eat the hijacked loaf alone. As it is true of our chickens, it’s also true of us. Maybe, there’s something about the African soil.


Talk about shouting and lame talks – a hen senses a sudden slithery movement of a dark figure, she flinches and begins a big cackle – then the whole poultry shed erupts into a loud din – everyone is cackling; they didn’t see the danger the first hen saw. It won’t matter. So long as they heard a cackle, they must cackle too. And cackling they will until the snake grabs his choice among them and goes away with his lunch – to return another day.  The chickens would never pause to wonder why all their cackles have never for once stopped the snakes. What if just one day, only one day, all the 1,600 chickens in the poultry commune together and agree to peck the snake to death. No, of course, they will never team up against the danger  . . . because no one wants to die . . . chickens wants to live forever. They want eternal life. They know that if they go en masse against the snake to peck it, the very first ones to dare the snake could be killed at once. They still want to eat corn from the farmer in the evening  . . . so, why should they risk life and limbs to face the snake – to die, just in order to free their entire “poultrydom” from the peril of the snake. No one is bold enough to face the threat, so they all recourse to cackling.


Fuel Subsidy Cackles

Now, let’s cackle a little more about this fuel subsidy removal. I have seen your comments and posts – “Goodluck is Ill-luck” – hmmn hmmn . . .; “The ministers are mumu” – okay na. . . ; “Ngozi is a witch sent from the IMF coven” – of course, she’s got to be. But all that stuff still amounts to cackle. The real talk is, what are you personally going to do this week? Tomorrow? You’ve bought cardboards and made your placards? You made your large banner? You’ve got running shoes? – Remember, confrontations are a game of throw and dodge – anything can happen requiring you to sprint and take cover. What’s your action plan? Who will you mobilise? Who will mobilise you? Are you going to work tomorrow or sitting at home? Wait, who is sitting at home? Lol  . . .I thought we are meant to go and sit on the streets in front of the Government Houses or Governor’s Offices in our respective State Capitals while those in Abuja go and sit . . . where? I don’t know . . . the police said no protests will be allowed in Central Abuja. They are positioning 15,000 armed and trigger-happy policemen. Yeah, okay,  . . .so, you in Abuja will sit wherever and sing and shout and make demands. Peacefully. Bon fires – yes and no. No lootings. Of course, sure, no lootings . . . because I trust you will ensure that hooligans, who have looting in their veins, won’t join your Occupy Nigeria marches and hi-jack your good motives for their personal madness.


Yeah, Occupy Nigeria . . .  2011 was the year of the protester. I just picked my TIME magazine person of the year edition for 2011 and it’s in honour of protesters. I am not saying that protests are no longer fashionable in 2012, in fact, we might expect to see more of it everywhere in the world this year than last year. But really, do I trust you and me to effectively coordinate our Occupy Nigeria protest at this time? Sure, I am not going to work tomorrow . . . I’m a NLC member. No shame about that and I believe in this cause.


However, I’ll be indoors tomorrow – not because I don’t want to go with you to sit out across the gate from the Government House . . . .thank God that in Ondo State Dr. Mimiko has made a splendid garden across the gates of his official residence, where protesters could take turns to rest from the sun and return to Occupy his gates. You just said what’s Mimiko’s own in this matter, was he the one that increased the fuel price? Well, it’s not my particular culture to say everything that I know. And I will leave that aside. One thing I would say is that our leaders in Nigeria irrespective of political and religious affiliations are not used to speaking the spherical truth – it’s always one-sided. Do, you think it’s every member of the Federal Executive Council that would agree in his or her mind about this fuel price hike? I doubt, but those who don’t agree won’t speak out. I read the comments of the Primate of the Anglican Church in Nigeria about the fuel price hike, and something in me got crushed. Papa Oritsejafor – our CAN President may have said something about it, but I’ve not heard. Have you? In the same way, I’m waiting to be fed on what Baba Adeboye and Bishop Oyedepo have said about this. Why are the elders keeping mum in the market square, while the inexperienced mother is almost strangling her baby with the baby girdle?


Yeah, you just queried me about Goodluck . . . I endorsed him for the elections. Of course, I knew he was going to win – with or without my vote. And as it turned out, I didn’t vote at all, not for him nor for anyone else. . . and yet he won. So, I was right after all. My not voting for Jonathan didn’t stop Jonathan from winning, and my not voting for Buhari didn’t make Buhari lose. I only knew that this was the man that would be there, and that was what I said. And after he won, I didn’t keep quiet – I wrote to him personally and told him, “He that rules over men must be just, ruling in the fear of God”. I have said many other things as well. Possibly, he ignored the lone voice. What did your pastor tell him? What did the CAN president tell him? You were here blogging and tweeting, did you get your messages to Jonathan’s desk? I’m not here to brag about it. . . it cost me my own money to send him every letter I have sent. And I have always told the truth spherically to him – presenting both what he would like to hear and what he wouldn’t.


You are so good at tweeting and blogging. I have been quite good too at sending letters to State House by courier. The present situation, however, does call for more actions than these. Enough of tweets and blogs and courier letters. This is a national emergency and it calls for a decisive action . . .we have to put political and religious differences apart at this time and sit out until the Government repents. It’s time we extend our cackles to the gates of the Government. Like I said earlier, I won’t take the lead  . . . but I will watch the way you march and sit out for a day or two, if your demonstration is peaceful, I will join you by the third day, and keep marching and sitting out till the Government budges. And all the while, I hope we shall not forget that our message to Government is this “it’s our money, we are the ones to say our how it should be spent, not you. We prefer to spend it on subsidy for now”. Did I miss it? Well, cheers.


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